Hello Old Friend, It Has Been Awhile!

Wow, remember my last blog…OVER a YEAR ago?  The one where I said it felt good to be writing and I was going to keep it up.  Yeah, that didn’t happen, did it?

Life kicked my butt.  Seriously kicked it. I wanted to write so many times, but mostly, I didn’t because one, I was just so tired and well, most of what happened was to people I loved, or by people I loved.  Hard to explain.  Just know, 2018 was one tough year…probably one of the hardest ones I have encountered in a long long time, maybe the hardest one ever.

I had to watch people I love go through hard times, hurtful times and there was nothing I could really do to help them.  Sure I was there for support, of course.  But sometimes, you just want to fix things, to take their hurt away, and that just doesn’t happen. It isn’t how it works, is it?  So, you offer your support, your love and hope it is enough and you silently let your heart break into a million pieces for them…..

At the same time, my own life was hard, hurting, falling apart. Sometimes you go through things you never expected and you wonder how you go on, wonder if ever it will be okay or good again.  One day at a time, one hour at a time…. 2018 felt like a lifetime in one year. It has spilled over in 2019 and I am still dealing with it all.  It makes you second guess everything.  I hope someday that will change.  I am always the hopeful, optimistic, grateful one even when I have no reason to be.

Twelve days ago, my husband had a second stroke.  He had just spent a week in Sturgis and was home probably 15 hours when it happened.  I had to call an ambulance.  He spent a few days in the hospital and today he returned to work!  He will have to have a hole in his heart fixed in a month, to hopefully prevent this from ever happening again. I hope and pray that this will be it.  He has been incredibly lucky.  I hope he realizes that.

You just never know what your life will bring you.  Just when you think it is all going well, and maybe you got things handled, you get that wonderful little wrench thrown into the mix!  Just remember to always keep hope alive!  I keep remembering all that I have overcome in my life and I always believe it will be okay.  There is always something to be thankful for!

I really hope to be back much more often.  Maybe I will find my voice again. I hope so.  I miss this, and I really do love it.

IMG_2922

6 comments

    • Thank you! I am thinking of new names for this, directions to take it….It feels good to be back. I need to make the effort to keep it going! Keep true to myself! And thanks also….we are glad too….

  1. Welcome back! I look forward to reading more from you! 2019 has become my worst year in a very long time. My Dad passed in April, my mom in May, and I’m currently going through a divorce; somewhere I didn’t think I’d be at after 19 years of marriage! You speak of hope and knowing there’s always better things in store…. I want to believe that but my grieving overtakes me. One day at a time is true! I’m right there with you Joy!

    • Thank you! It can truly be tough sometime and grieving happens even when you don’t expect it. It can be easy to let it overtake you. On days when I don’t think I can do it anymore, I cry it out, find some music, movie, book, sunrise, something, anything to help me smile, feel better feel hope. Hugs to you….I wish for you better days!

  2. Love to see your blog is back. Just remember, life is like a book-when one chapter ends, a new chapter begins. None of us know when our story will end, I have learned just to roll with the times and make the most of each moment. Keep Positive

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s