Wow, remember my last blog…OVER a YEAR ago? The one where I said it felt good to be writing and I was going to keep it up. Yeah, that didn’t happen, did it?
Life kicked my butt. Seriously kicked it. I wanted to write so many times, but mostly, I didn’t because one, I was just so tired and well, most of what happened was to people I loved, or by people I loved. Hard to explain. Just know, 2018 was one tough year…probably one of the hardest ones I have encountered in a long long time, maybe the hardest one ever.
I had to watch people I love go through hard times, hurtful times and there was nothing I could really do to help them. Sure I was there for support, of course. But sometimes, you just want to fix things, to take their hurt away, and that just doesn’t happen. It isn’t how it works, is it? So, you offer your support, your love and hope it is enough and you silently let your heart break into a million pieces for them…..
At the same time, my own life was hard, hurting, falling apart. Sometimes you go through things you never expected and you wonder how you go on, wonder if ever it will be okay or good again. One day at a time, one hour at a time…. 2018 felt like a lifetime in one year. It has spilled over in 2019 and I am still dealing with it all. It makes you second guess everything. I hope someday that will change. I am always the hopeful, optimistic, grateful one even when I have no reason to be.
Twelve days ago, my husband had a second stroke. He had just spent a week in Sturgis and was home probably 15 hours when it happened. I had to call an ambulance. He spent a few days in the hospital and today he returned to work! He will have to have a hole in his heart fixed in a month, to hopefully prevent this from ever happening again. I hope and pray that this will be it. He has been incredibly lucky. I hope he realizes that.
You just never know what your life will bring you. Just when you think it is all going well, and maybe you got things handled, you get that wonderful little wrench thrown into the mix! Just remember to always keep hope alive! I keep remembering all that I have overcome in my life and I always believe it will be okay. There is always something to be thankful for!
I really hope to be back much more often. Maybe I will find my voice again. I hope so. I miss this, and I really do love it.