That is my tagline here, isn’t it? It seems, though, I have let life overwhelm me and I haven’t done much of it here lately. It is not that I haven’t wanted to, it just seems some days, I sit here and think about writing too much and then I just can’t. Far away from the keyboard, I write all kinds of great things! Somehow, those things to disappear by the time I sit to share.
This year for me has been another tough, busy, emotional one so far. I imagine it has been for most For if we are alive and living life, isn’t that just how it seems to be? This year just seems to be one that is all that, multiplied. Unfortunately, it seems that reactions and emotions have multiplied too. I often wonder, if I hadn’t been born with the amount of patience I was, just how much worse it might be.
So many times, I have said and wrote that you need to find the joy. I need to remember that. Again. Every day. I have let the clutter that is my reality right now not get to me. You can’t walk anywhere in this house without running into something. I have let it overwhelm me at times. Sometimes, it makes me angry and sometimes it makes me cry. I have read so much about how clutter can affect you and I truly believe it can have a negative affect on you. I haven’t slept well in weeks. Bedroom? Cluttered. It is storing what doesn’t fit in the living room. The living room? Full. Cluttered. Sometimes I stand in it, trying to find something out of one of the totes. Or in more than one of the totes, and I just get so frustrated. I sometimes hear myself ranting about it, or crying about it. Have you ever stood outside yourself, so to speak, and wondered who that crazy person was? Have you wanted to tell them to just shut up or to just get over it? Yeah, I have. Often. Especially lately.
It is ridiculous how worked up I can get over all this. I really have no control over the timeline as to when the rest of the things needing to be done will be. A contractor can’t come until it rains and drives them inside. I can’t change the weather. I can change how I react to it. I can be frustrated, but then I can look at what IS done so far and be thankful. I am. Very much so. I need to verbalize THAT more than the other. I need to remember….I am grateful. What is done so far is beautiful. I am in awe it is the same place. No, it is not done yet, but it does give me something to look forward to, right?
I need to not get overwhelmed by the little things. It does sometimes feel like they are much bigger right now when there is so much chaos and clutter. Is it worth it to get upset and verbalize every time someone doesn’t pick up after themselves. Is it worth it to complain about getting no help? I need to remember to ask nicely. I do say thank you. I just have to get back to my positive self.
I am thinking I just need a little break. Even getting out of the house to go do something helps. I need a short trip. Some nature time.
Most of all, I need to get back to positive. I need to find my joy in every day. I need to verbalize how grateful I am more.
Clutter or not. Unfinished remodeling project or not. The craziness of life. THAT stuff will no longer have power over me!
Today. I AM joyful. I AM happy.