Seriously! Now quit laughing and read on as to the reason I am writing about this.
If you read my post from a week ago, you know we were snowed in and I mentioned how I wore makeup no matter what. I had said I would probably hit publish and go put it on. BUT-my daughter was sitting here and challenged me to go the whole day without it and see how it made me feel and then to write about it. I begrudgingly took that challenge and I wasn’t even going to write about it, thinking how silly it sounded. This morning I was thinking about it again, and all kinds of thoughts were rambling around in my head, so I decided it was time to write about it!
Before I get to that, I promised last week when I knew we would bake to write update as to just what we made. Pretzels, sweet cornbread from scratch and pumpkin pie.
Now that I distracted you with the goodies, back to the subject!
I did make it through the whole day, until the next without putting on any makeup. I threatened to go back and put some on many times. I kept feeling my face, expecting it to feel soft and clean, but it felt strange to me and actually a little dry.
How did it make me feel? Uncomfortable. A bit ugly. Vulnerable. Wow. I am thinking how ridiculous it sounds but it is true. Where do those feelings come from? They have to have started so long ago. When you are always the tallest from a young age you tend to already get singled out. Kids can be cruel. I had a nickname I heard so young that I never forgot. Underdog. (I can’t believe I am even sharing that. It makes me feel sad, actually.) I remember one time just waiting at the junior high to pick up younger siblings, some boys, who I had NO idea were went by and said, “Scofield, you are a horse face.” (Now I want to cry!) I had/have a sister who was always considered the ‘pretty’ one, always called beautiful. Hey, I am the nice, sensitive one. Yeah. That.
So makeup helps. I do think I have pretty eyes and I like to try to show those off. Maybe it could distract from everything else! Seriously. I do think it has to do a lot with self esteem and a lifetime of the lack of it. Don’t get me wrong. I am who I am and I kinda like who that is! That wasn’t always the case, though! I wear makeup to just feel a little better about myself. To give my otherwise pale complexion some color.
I would love to be one of those people who are comfortable enough or beautiful enough to go without makeup. I sadly, am not! Don’t ask for a picture of me without it to try to argue because you will never get one! Some things a girl has to keep to herself!
How do you feel about going without makeup? Let me know in the comments! I am interested in hearing.