…and I came away with so many feelings and thoughts.
As I sat there, I wondered why we do funerals the way we do. I don’t understand why we don’t just have a celebration of that person’s life. Why do we think it is okay for a stranger to read some words about our loved one? Often it just the obituary. Sometimes they get a few stories from the family, sometimes not. I don’t see how they can truly catch the essence that was the person without knowing them.
Many times, there are a lot of things that make it feel more like church. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against church for those who attend, but as so happens often, the person has a Faith and a Belief, but they don’t attend a church. Truly, if I wanted to attend a church service, I would do that on Sunday. Nothing wrong with a prayer or two at a funeral, of course, but sometimes it seems to turn into a sermon. I have even seen people napping through it.
I wonder why we don’t make it more personal? Why don’t we have someone who knows them, talk about them. I want to remember with someone who actually knew the person and knew what it felt to be around them, to know them, to talk to them, to laugh with them. I want it to be a Celebration of LIFE!
They say funerals are for the living. I want to gather with my family and friends and hug and cry, but also laugh. I want to celebrate that person. I want to remember events, good times, even times not so good. I can read the obituary on my own-I don’t need to just know the dates, the facts that we all have. You know, born, school, work, marriage, kids, survived by, proceeded in death by… Tell me what happened between the dates. I want to hear all about the dash!
No matter what, it should be what the family wants. But me? I want a celebration…a CELEBRATION! Wear jeans, Harley shirts, sweaters, whatever! Play some upbeat stuff. Rock. Talk about the dash. And smile and laugh as you remember…..