How is that for a title???? I have sat many times, many days, looking at my page, wanting to write a post, not knowing what to write about, waiting to be inspired. I wondered, do I do what I normally do-write about what is happening right now in my life? I would start to, then stop. Sometimes I just don’t want to write about things that make me feel bad, get me down.
But what if it stays on my mind? Maybe if I write about it, it will help. Do I be specific? General? I will do what I normally do. Just write.
I would first be remiss if I did not mention the passing of Robin Williams. There has been so many great blogs written, I decided I didn’t need to be just another one. When I heard that he died, I cried. I have followed his comic genius for many years. From his career beginnings. When I heard, I got goosebumps. It is hard to read about, hard to wrap my mind around. And of course, as the internet goes, and has, there are those people that cannot help but comment with horrible things. Enough so that his daughter left Twitter. What kind of people do that? Where is their soul? I just don’t get it. I never will. I learned long ago to never ever read comments on any story. There are some truly horrible people out there. I often wonder how they sleep at night. I imagine if they can write what they do, they probably sleep just fine. Which is unfortunate.
So in my life, I am going through a little bit of that. Hurtful words. I won’t go into specifics. It is amazing that I can still let it get to me. When it is untrue and said to others, when there are consequences that happen to me because of those words, then it is hard to forget. I will never understand, either. Why do people do that? I am not sure. I don’t expect everyone to like me, or even a lot of people to. It is not that I am mean or unkind, I am not. I am passionate about things and sometimes I guess it gets the best of me. But that is my right, isn’t it? I am who I am. I am the only me I have and even at this stage of my life it is work. Sometimes I struggle with WHO that I am is. I have had SO MANY things happen to me in my life that I could be a mean and bitter person, unhappy, sitting here always and never caring about anything. I try to be the opposite. If you cannot at least try to find some happiness, the joy in your life, then what is there? I want to be able to look in the mirror and like who I am and if I don’t, to know what to work on and do that.
Most times I am in a mostly okay spot. Until things happen to shake me to the core like they have recently. But I will be fine. Because I always am. I have to be.
You can take me or leave me. That is up to you. I just can’t let what other people say about me or to me get to me. It puts me in a bad spot, makes me forget for a moment what is important. Not what they say, or are trying to do, or make me feel. What is, is what I know to be true about me. MY life. Myself. Period.