Life Lived By the Dry Erase Board….

It seems these days, as our life has changed, that we are living our days according to the dry erase board that I bought post-stroke.

There are so many appointments and therapies at the moment that I had to do something to keep them all straight and not miss any.  It is my duty to get the husband to any and all of them.  I don’t think anyone could keep them all straight without writing them down.  I bought the dry erase board because that way, we all have a visible tool to see where we have to be when.  First I wrote all the necessary appointments and then all the other stuff too so that things don’t overlap and also when we are exhausted, we don’t want to forget the fun stuff either!

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The board as of today, doesn’t look too bad as I erase the days when we get done with them!  You should have seen this board at the beginning of the week!  It was full!  I like to erase them as a countdown of sorts.  It means one day closer to recovery, one day less of therapies and doctors.

It reminds me of so long ago when it was my turn at the doctors and appointments….it started out so many. So many that it seems to consume your every day. That is where we are now.  At the beginning of this new journey.  I know, as time goes on and things improve, the appointments are less and less and hopefully, like me, he can visit his doctor once a year for a check up.  One day at a time for now, though!

I got to thinking, at the beginning of the week, looking at all the appointments that people might be surprised.  We were at an event on Saturday night and many our friends would come up to my husband and comment at how great he looked and how he was ‘all better’.  I know no one means anything but good when they say that, and yes, we are relieved he is stronger and the stroke did not affect his speech or paralyze him.  But that is not the areas HIS affected.  His struggles are invisible to others-unless they sit in on the therapies as I do.  That is a different story.  I again, have to be the one watching, feeling helpless, wanting him to be perfectly fine. Wanting to make it all okay. Sometimes, still wondering, how did we get here?

BUT. I also get to see how far he HAS come!  How amazing he IS doing.  I also get to remind him of that as he gets frustrated and discouraged.  It has only been such a short short time.  I have no doubt that soon, he will be driving again. He will be back to work.  He will ride his motorcycle again.  We have had some really nice days already this spring and there have been many motorcycles on the road.  I can only imagine how hard it is for him knowing that his is parked in the garage until the okay comes from the doctors and therapists.  Even then, it will be baby steps.  He will have to see how it feels, how he does.

As I sit in the waiting rooms, or in on the therapies, or stand by as everyone commends him on how he is ‘all better’ now, I can’t help but think about not only him, but ALL the people who have ‘invisible’ ailments, or things we cannot see, whether they are recovering from a major medical happening, whether that has just happened to them or is years in the past, or whether it might be an emotional struggle, or a disability that cannot be seen, there are many out there who might need just a little more understanding and a little less assumption.

11 comments

  1. You are so right about the invisibility of the illnesses that no one realizes. YOU realize!!! And Tom definitely realizes. I am so glad you have each other—I always wonder how people go through things like this when they don’t have anyone else to lean on for support, to drive them to appts, to remind them that they are making progress and just in general to support them. I have full confidence that he will be on that bike again —it may take a while but he will get there. And until then, erase those appts after each day and start a new day full of joy! 🙂

  2. You are spot on with the invisible illness. It’s easy to judge, until you have walked in someone else’s shoes. Sounds like you are adjusting well and moving forward. You guys will be out riding in no time at all. Keep working hard and enjoying each day to the fullest.

    • Not surprisingly, with my life, I have thought about that invisible stuff before…all of us who are dealing/have dealt with it know what I mean. And I bet there are MANY! Forward IS the only direction to move…. and maybe ONE of us will be out riding this year at some point….we shall see! 🙂

  3. Beautifully done! My Mom used to say that we never know what is going on behind someone’s smile. Or frown. And to never judge. She was lots better at it than I am, but I have posts like this one to remind me! thank you!

  4. Love your blog, life is a gift . when U have problems makes U thankful for what U can do and U sure see little things then!

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