Closed Doors. Empty Bedrooms.

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This is what I see every day when I go by my daughters old room.

A closed door.

She is a senior in college now so she has been moved out for several years now. She actually only came back home that first summer.

Sometimes when I walk by, I remember how I used to smile walking by the closed bedroom doors. I knew my kids were all in the house and in their space. Warm and safe. It was nice being a family under one roof. It was nice knowing where they were.

I remember how their rooms used to look when they were little….usually very messy!  I remember knocking on the doors to wake them up.  And doing it again, stressing they were going to miss the bus!

I remember the boys and their action figures and cars and video games all over. I remember when her room was pink with dollhouses and Barbies and ‘girl’ things.Then suddenly one day, they had outgrown it all.

Right after my daughter graduated she went to Spain with her high school choir.  I decided to do a “While You Were Out” to her room.  It went from pink walls and pink shag to a beautiful room for a young woman.

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She loved it, but did mention that she would be leaving soon. I will admit, the timing wasn’t my best.  But at least she had a great room to come home to.

But funny thing, she didn’t come home much.  As the years have gone by, she is so busy with school and things, she comes home even less.

I often walk by that closed door feeling sad.  I am not sure how one day they are small children and the next they are adults on their own.  I miss walking by that door knowing.  Knowing she is close by, knowing she is safe, knowing where she is.  I miss her.

Next week is Thanksgiving.  She will be home for a week.  And even though the room is far from what it once was, I can walk by that closed door and smile. I will feel that warmth in my heart.

For just a little while, I will have her close by again.  Safe and warm!

One of her brothers has moved out this year, too.  I miss having him here even as an adult.  Again, it was nice having him close by.

I do get to use his old room for a sewing room but it is just not the same.

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It will forever be my son’s room!

I always remember people telling me how fast time passed.  We may not realize it when our kids are young and our days are long, but fly it does.

One day you are cleaning up messy rooms.  The next you are walking by closed doors and empty bedrooms.

22 comments

  1. Joy, this one made me cry. My daughter is the same age and comes home less and less. Sometimes I just go stand in the doorway and remember when she was little, when she was here.

  2. Beautiful reflection! Made me want to hold my little ones close! Chris informed me the other day that he’s half way to a license! Where does time go?

  3. We have the closed door at our house too. My daughter’s room is still the same colors as when she moved into it, nearly 10 years ago. Bright pink, yellow and blue. I know I have to get around to removing all the posters, photos and mementos, but it is always put off for another month or two or six. Thanks for giving voice to all those feelings we moms have as our chicks grow up and fly from the nest.

    • I’m with you both my boys have moved out and I leave the doors open!! My daughter has graduated college and I am so lucky that she has come home to our house and I get to enjoy her for a least 3 more year as she decided to go to nursing school and I am not looking forward to the day she is not here anymore she is my best friend.

  4. We keep our sons bedrooms open now that they are off at college. When they first left it felt so strange because when they were still here, and I would go up to bed, I would turn their bedroom lights on for them because they were usually up later than me or out with their friends. This way they wouldn’t have to turn the hall light on and they wouldn’t have to find their way in the dark. So now, I put a little night light in each of their rooms which stays on all the time, so they can always find their way home. It makes me feel better.

  5. What a great little insight into your heart! I have 2 girls (4 and 7) and they drive me absolutely crazy. When they go spend the night at Grandma’s or sleepover at a friend’s, I get that exact same feeling and my mind continues to race! We look at picturs from even 2 years ago, and I get shocked at how much they’ve grown. Don’t know what I’ll do when they leave and are off on their own. It’s still years away, but will come in a blink.

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