Fear, Then Fun. Panic, Then Pleasure.

My husband has a Harley. He is a true biker through and through.  He loves to ride, loves to open the throttle, has no fear.  If he has a bad day, he can get on his bike and feel better. There is something quite freeing about just moving through the air, amongst beautiful scenery.

He had a motorcycle when we were first together. Not a Harley. Back then, it had to be something cheaper, but it was two wheels, nonetheless.  I rode with him, he rode fast, and although sometimes it terrified me as to HOW fast he would ride, it was a different fear than now.  It was before kids.

Things changed when the kids arrived.  He sold that bike when we needed the money and although he longed for one, it was many years before he had one again. About 8 years ago he was able to buy a Harley. A used Sportster, but it was a bike and it was a Harley and it was his! The first year, I am not sure I even rode with him.  I wanted him to get used to driving a motorcycle again and although he did take the riding classes and passed, I was still nervous. I would finally ride a short ways.  And I was always fearful.  There was just a nagging reminder in my mind that we had children now and it would be easy for someone to take out both of us while we were on the bike.  Yes, we sometimes had close calls as most bikers do. There was also the fact that this was not a bike that was for two…at least not for any ride where you want to be comfortable.

He took a trip with it, with some friends across Texas. All the others had touring bikes, he had his ‘dirt bike’ as they liked to tease him.  A week after he came back, he also had a touring bike! Much bigger and more comfortable for me.  Again, I wanted him to get used to it.

When it comes to riding on the back, through the years, I have run hot and cold. Sometimes the fear was so great that I could not get on it. Whether it was intuition, or just fear or maybe both, that remains unknown.  I am glad he never pushed me to ride when I was not comfortable getting on. Sometimes when I stayed behind, it was a relief but that was mixed with sadness.  I was sad that I was missing out on things. I was angry that I could not just be fearless like so many others.  I hated that I worried so much about everything.

I have tried this year to be better. We belong to a local Harley Owner’s Group and we are doing a lot of group rides. I do feel better when we go in a group, but I think the fear will always be there. There is always that fear of being so vulnerable. The fear of a car that doesn’t stop, the fear of a deer darting suddenly from the side of the rode.  But I get on, I say my prayers and then, I have fun.

Bikers are a great group of people!  We have a good time always. And some of the scenery along the way has been so beautiful.  You can get over a bad day fast on the back of a bike when the countryside is green, the sky is blue and you can lift your face into the wind.
I used to panic a lot and it kept me from some great rides and times.  I don’t think I really panic so much now.  If I do, I try to swallow that up and enjoy the pleasure that comes from the ride and the camaraderie of the group we ride with.

If we let our fear take over and win, then we miss out on so much of the fun in life.  If we let the panic take over and win, then we miss out on the pleasure that life experiences can give us.

I have learned that I cannot let the fear win or I miss out on so much.  I have to tell myself it will be fine. That life is meant to be lived! I think I am doing better!  At least I hope so!

Do you have fears that keep you from doing things you would love to do?  Have you got over them and how?  I would love for you to share with us!

Now, I gotta go ride!!!!

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2 comments

  1. Awesome post! Having married a Harley rider, I can relate. There’s nothing like that feeling of being on the back of the bike…your sense of awareness is heightened so much more on a bike than in a car. Those fears that you mentioned are exactly what keeps me from getting a license myself. However, riding behind my husband frees me from those fears. Is that contradictory? I don’t know. I have only been afraid once or twice in the past three years. I figure that if I let even a little fear in that a chasm will open up and I’ll be petrified about riding forever. So I say my prayers and ask God to look after us and all bikers, and I hope we get to ride for a long, long time!

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