Then Wife Happened

When I was trying to think of a name for this blog, my son was throwing out some names and one was, Then Wife Happened.  I loved that one, as I thought it could be an amusing take on being a wife, but I thought it was a bit too narrow for what I wanted to accomplish here.  The title has stuck in my head all this time, and I thought, this could be at least a good blog post. And who knows, maybe I should start yet another blog with that title.

When we are young girls, we often dream of getting married and being a wife and mother.  Many of us plan weddings we want to have some day and we dream of that ‘happily ever after’.

If we are lucky, we find ‘the one’ and that dream comes true.

Sort of.

I was single until I was 27. Many people made me feel like I was getting older and needed to find a husband. All my sisters were married before me-three of them younger than me. My mom made the comment to me once that if I wanted to wear her wedding dress, she would have to leave it to me in her will.  Ouch!

I met my husband in May of 1985. We started to live together two weeks after we met and we got married in December of 1985 in a court house. Wife happened fast for me.  Did I expect it to be like I imagined if would be? I am not sure I ever really expected it to happen to me and I am not sure I ever really imagined what it would actually BE like. Did I expect it to be like what I thought most felt like, then? You know, newly married. Thinking, I am someone’s WIFE.  Oh, this is MY HUSBAND. The honeymoon period.

Somewhere along the line, though, reality sets in. You realize you are no longer single and although technically you are your own boss, if you will, it is no longer just up to you when it comes to many decisions.  From where you live, to what you buy, to where you go, what you do.  From now on, you are a part of a team.  Wife happened.

Through the years I have loved it. I have hated it. I am sure we have looked at our other half and thought, What the hell was I thinking?!  Wasn’t life easier when it was just me?

Sure, sometimes. But not always. There are moments in life when we want that solitude and there are those moments when we need someone else.  I have had many of those when I have been grateful to have another. Not just to be there in the tough times, but the good ones too.

Life is never easy. And we just have to make the choices that are best for us and make the best of those choices.  We have to learn to find the balance between still being an individual and being a part of a married couple. You can still live a fulfilled life when wife happens. It is up to you!

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